Teacher's Pests Shooting Draft
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Teacher's Pests
(Formerly "The Breakfast Club")
Episode #4
Production #V0804
Written by: John Loy
Directed by: Chris Graves
Production Draft - April 20, 1998
Pages 6-8 - May 14, 1998
Pages 1-1B - June 08, 1998
Pacific Island Pictures, LTD, All Rights Reserved © 1998
Cast List
Hercules
Jason
Iolaus - (ee-OH-lus)
Cheiron
Kora
Fiducius - (fi-DOO-shuss)
Shepherd
Leonidas - (lee-oh-NEE-dass)
Set List
Interiors:
Cheiron's Academy - Scroll Room
Cheiron's Academy - Stables
Cheiron's Academy - Shower Room
Kora's Inn
Exteriors:
Cheiron's Academy - Courtyard
Cheiron's Academy - Pig Sty
Cheiron's Academy - Gate
FADE IN: EXT. CHEIRON'S ACADEMY - TRAINING HALL - DAY Establish -- with the sound of PADDED STAFFS HITTING AND PARRYING. INT. ACADEMY - TRAINING HALL - ONE CORNER - CONTINUOUS JASON lunges hard with a padded staff; HERC parries; Jason spins low; Herc jumps above it; then Jason brings his staff up to his shoulder level, held wide to block a hard downward slash by Herc. Both cadets are sweating from a hard workout. The staffs hold for a beat, neither giving an inch: Hercules: (straining) Give up! Jason: (straining) Never! (NOTE: IF THE ABOVE EXCHANGE IS TOO MUCH ACTION, JUST START ON THE NEITHER-GIVING-AN-INCH MOMENT.) Then they hear a BELL sound. Suddenly they both relax. Hercules: Had you. Jason: In your dreams. Each one picks up equipment -- padded staffs, shields, swords, etc. -- and puts it away -- against a wall, on a table, in a closet, etc. -- as they talk. Hercules: You got your stuff ready? Jason: I've been ready for this break for days. Hercules: (indicating the academy) I thought you loved this dump. Jason: I love my family -- He tosses something heavy away. Jason: That doesn't mean I want to spend my weekend with them. Hercules: I don't know... I could think of worse things than hanging around here with everybody else gone. It'd be nice and quiet. As they finish putting stuff up, they come together as Jason shakes his head at Herc: Jason: Remind me not to have you plan my next party. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. CHEIRON'S ACADEMY - GATE - DAY Laughing Students EXIT through the gate in groups of two and three. FIDUCIUS, the academy's grumpy bookkeeper, emerges from a doorway and heads across the traffic stream, loaded down with scrolls. A Student bumps into him, almost making him drop his armful. Fiducius struggles to keep his balance, shouting after the Student. Fiducius: Look out, you! Clumsy! You want a suspension?! Is that what you want?! Glaring after the kid, Fiducius staggers on under his load. INT. CHEIRON'S ACADEMY - SHOWER ROOM The SCREEN is filled with steam. Through the mist emerges HERCULES, dressed but with wet hair and a towel draped around his neck. From the mist, a towel snaps at his butt. Hercules: (laughing) Ow! Watch it! JASON steps from the steam, twirling his towel. Jason: Hurry up, will ya? I want to hit the road! Hercules: Relax. We've got plenty of -- (looks O.S.; stops short) Whoa. Check that out. ANGLE IN DORM IOLAUS stands before his open locker, checking himself out in a mirror as he douses with cologne. The guys join him, sniffing and making faces. Jason waves a hand in the air. Jason: Wow. Smells like a Satyr crawled in here and died! Iolaus: Very funny. Don't touch the hair! Hercules: Somebody's got some big plans for the weekend. What's up? Iolaus: (smugly) If you losers must know, I've got a date... with Kora. Herc gives him a playful shove. Hercules: Get serious! Iolaus: What can I say? I guess she's decided I'm the man for her! Jason: (frowning) I thought you said you were going to ask Kora for work -- as in being a busboy? Iolaus: (too cool) Do I look like the busboy type? He strikes a "cool" pose. Herc and Jason consider him a moment, exchanging looks -- then Herc turns back to Iolaus: Hercules: Dishwasher? Iolaus rolls his eyes, turns back to his mirror. Iolaus: Ah, you're just jealous. Jason: No, we're hungry. Hercules: Last one out the gate buys breakfast! Herc bolts for the door. Iolaus and Jason look at each other for a brief beat, then race after him. EXT. CHEIRON'S SCADEMY - COURTYARD - CONTINUOUS The three guys come piling out the dormitory door, getting stuck for a BEAT before popping out, laughing. They tear madly across the courtyard toward the gate, shoving and grabbing at each other. Jason hurdles over a horse trough;, Herc vaults over the horse. Up ahead, Fiducius emerges from the door with another large stack of scrolls. Iolaus, in the lead, glances back at his pals as he comes running straight toward Fiducius. Iolaus: Looks like somebody owes me a break -- WHAM! Iolaus runs smack into fiducius. The scrolls go flying. Fiducius is thrown backwards, SCREAMS... ...and tumbles head over heals into a nearby well. There's a huge SPLASH. Herc and his pals pull up, as scrolls rain down around them. They look over to see CHEIRON stepping into the courtyard, frowing curiously. Fiducius throws his arms over the wall of the well and pulls himself into view, spitting out a stream of water.Herc glances at his friends. Hercules: Guys, I think we're in trouble. FADE OUT.
Act One
FADE IN: EXT. CHEIRON'S ACADEMY - COURTYARD - DAY Herc, Jason, and Iolaus stand in a line before cheiron and Fiducius, the latter soaking wet and furious. Fiducius: (sniffs) H-h-hoodlums! T-t-terrorists! He SNEEZES. Iolaus: Bless you. Cheiron shoots him a look. Iolaus looks down. Hercules: Fiducius, we're really sorry. It was an accident. Fiducius: (sniffs) Ha! Iolaus: We were just having a race, and-- Fiducius darts forward and jabs a finger in Iolaus's face. Fiducius: It was a premeditated, malicious attack on a despised authority figure! Don't think I don't know how you boys snicker at me behind my back! He turns and stalks back to Cheiron, revealing a wet scroll thich has unrolled and is plastered to his butt. The boys struggle not to laugh. Jason: But we don't. (snickers) Really... Herc and Iolaus repress more SNICKERS. Fiducius spins back toward them. Instant silence. Fiducius: Keep it up, boys! You're just digging yourselves a bigger hole! (significantly) This might even affect your permanent records! The guys exchange worried glances. Fiducious stalks up to Cheiron. Cheiron gazes impassively at the boys. Cheiron: I trust the discipline Fiducius chooses will enlighten as well as punish. (to Fiducius) As Cheiron exits, Fiducius grins gleefully. Fiducius: (nasty pleasure) You're goning to be 'enlightened' all right... Boys, if you had plans for today, you can forget 'em! You're stuck here with me! Herc and Jason look disappointed, but Iolaus is aghast. Iolaus: You can't do that! With a little smile, Fiducius takes a step towards Iolaus. Fiducius: Why not?! Iolaus: I have to go! I promised somebody that... I mean... Iolaus wilts under Fiducius' sneer. Fiducius: Obviously you've got me confused with somebody who cares. He turns away. Iolaus hangs his head. Iolaus: Yes, sir. Fiducius paces before the boys. as he starts pontificating, their lips move along with his. They've heard it all before.
