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| '''[[1.05 Girl Trouble|« Back to "1.05 Girl Trouble"]]'''<td></tr></table> | | '''[[1.05 Girl Trouble|« Back to "1.05 Girl Trouble"]]'''<td></tr></table> |
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| == Teaser ==
| | To Be Added. |
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| '''Zared:''' "No one-- double-crosses me! Throw him in the hold!"
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| '''Traitor:''' "No! Please! Please, sir! No! No! Please! I beg you! Please! Ahhhhh!"
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| '''Zared:''' "Looks like our cargo won't be needin' dinner tonight!" [Laughs]
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| '''Jason:''' "Uh-- uck, what is it?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Your guess is as good as mine."
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| '''Jason:''' "That's it. I'm not eatin'. I'm going on a hunger strike."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "You gonna eat that? Hmm-- you know? You picked a really bad time to go on a hunger strike with the harvest festival coming up."
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| '''Jason:''' "All you can eat? All weekend long? No, thank you."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Don't worry about it, Jason. Cheiron promised us a new cook, remember? That's right."
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| '''Jason:''' "There she is."
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| '''Iolaus's Voice:''' "A girl in the academy?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "A babe-- who can cook."
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| '''Jason:''' "Aw-- I've died and gone to the Elysian Fields."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "No. No, wait! No! I saw her first!"
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| '''Jason:''' "You were busy stuffin' your face!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Huh? I'll show you how to stuff your face! Come on!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Guys, guys, guys, guys. Listen, are we really gonna fight over a beautiful woman, huh?"
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| '''Jason''' and '''Iolaus:''' "Yes!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "A-a-all right then, gentlemen-- and I use the term _so_ very loosely-- there's only one way to settle this."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "OK. Through the arch; off the ladder; over the roof; off the well; off the wall; down the steps; nothing but pigpen."
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| '''Jason:''' "It'll never happen-- but good luck."
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| '''Arcus:''' "Whoa! [Yells] Oh!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Uh, guys, he's out cold. Somebody get some water, all right?"
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| '''Jason:''' "Nice work, Iolaus."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hey, it wasn't my fault. that guy stepped right into it."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Listen, you gonna be OK, buddy? You all right?"
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| '''Arcus:''' "Yeah."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yeah?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hey, never mind that. Just get him on his feet before Cheiron sees us. I mean, the last thing we want is old 'Mr. Pearls of wisdom'. 'Look-- you boys look silly with that ball-- ' He's behind me, isn't he? Hey."
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| '''Cheiron:''' "You all right, Arcus?"
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| '''Arcus:''' "Yeah. Sure-- no problem."
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| '''Cheiron:''' "Looks like I've lost a messenger-- which means-- you boys are going to Athens."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Athens? What's in Athens?"
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| '''Cheiron:''' "Find us a new cook."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Uh, a c-- uh, oh-- well, we thought that, you know, a, ah-- well, if Arcus was gonna go find the cook, then, uh-- who's she?"
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| '''Lilith:''' "I'm Lilith."
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| '''Cheiron:''' "Gentlemen-- meet our newest cadet."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Ha-ha! What?! Aw-- come on, she's-- she's-- "
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| '''Lilith:''' "What?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "She's-- gonna be just fine."
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| '''Lilith:''' "So-- you cadets always use messengers for target practice?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "You know? There's no need for us all to miss the harvest festival. Later. Hey, uh-- no, I was-- I was-- let's go."
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| == Act One ==
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| '''Hercules's Voice:''' "We are missing the entire harvest festival 'cause we're stuck lookin' for a cook."
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| '''Iolaus's Voice:''' "What?! Like this is all my fault."
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| '''Jason's Voice:''' "You knocked out the messenger."
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| '''Iolaus's Voice:''' "Not on purpose."
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| '''Jason:''' "There's gotta be a decent cook closer than Athens."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Yeah. Hey, Herc-- Zeus must know some pretty decent cooks. Why don't you just get him to zap one down here?"
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| '''Jason:''' "Aye!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "I don't even talk to my father, never mind ask him for favors."
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| '''Jason:''' "It's gonna take a week to walk to Athens and back."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Yeah, well, the shooting contest wasn't my idea."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Hey-- what was I supposed to do, huh? You two were about to deck each other over our new classmate."
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| '''Jason:''' "How could we know she was a cadet?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Yeah-- she didn't look like a cadet."
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| '''Jason:''' "Whoever heard of a girl cadet?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Yeah, exactly. Girls are supposed to be-- sweet and gentle."
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| '''Jason:''' "Why is that? Is that all you can handle?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "That's assuming he can even get a date." [They laugh.]
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hey, I got an idea."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Huh? Oh, not again."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Look-- let's hire a boat. We'll gget to Athens in no time. And-- it'll give us a chance to, uh-- check out the sights-- if you catch my drift."
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| '''Hercules:''' "We can't afford a boat."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Who needs money? I'll just turn on the old Iolaus charm."
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| '''Hercules:''' "The old Iolaus charm, huh?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "What? We're on a boat. We're headed towards Athens-- aren't we?"
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| '''Jason:''' "By the time we get there, we're gonna be too tired to do anything."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Eh."
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| '''Jason:''' "How you doin'?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Good."
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| '''Hercules:''' "You thirsty?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "What?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Huh?"
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| '''Zared:''' "That's enough!"
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| '''Jason:''' "Who died and made you captain?"
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| '''Zared:''' "The name's Zared-- if you want to stay on board my boat-- you'll do your work-- stay out of my way. And never-- get near my cargo."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Whatever."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Friendly guy."
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| '''Jason:''' "What a freak."
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| '''Jason:''' "Hey! Hey!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "What? Oh, right-- yeah, yeah, yeah."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Iolaus, what's your problem?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "I've been thinking. I wanna know what's in that cargo hold. Whoa, whoa, whoa-- look. Whoa. Whoa."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Listen, I know what you're thinkin', Iolaus, OK? Just forget it."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Aw, come on, Herc. Aren't you just a little bit curious to find out what's in there?"
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| '''Jason:''' "Sure he is. So am I. But you heard Zared. Keep your nose out of there."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Jason's right, all right? Rules are rules. Iolaus."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rules are rules."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Iolaus. Iolaus! Jason. He's going for the cargo. Iolaus!"
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| '''Zared:''' "Thieves! Stop them!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Whoa!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Iolaus!"
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| [Fight]
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| '''Hercules:''' "Get the barrel. I'll get the swords."
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| '''Jason:''' "We have to get Iolaus."
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| '''Jason''' and '''Hercules:''' [Yell]
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| '''Hercules:''' "Amazons."
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| == Act Two ==
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| '''Jason:''' "What have you Amazons done with Iolaus?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Ah, not enough, if you ask me."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Iolaus! You OK?
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."
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| '''Jason:''' "I thought they were supposed to be man-haters."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yeah."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Yeah, well, they don't hurt good-_looking_ men."
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| '''Cyane:''' "We don't hurt boys, or he'd be in chains already. My name's Cyane, leader of the Telaquire Amazon nation."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Oh-- I'm Hercules."
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| '''Jason:''' "Um-- Jason."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Um-- Iolaus. We, uh-- we-we me."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Hey, you're the cargo Zared plans to take to Athens. People should not be cargo."
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| '''Cyane:''' "My sisters and I plan to take over this ship. You'll either help us or go down with the rest."
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| '''Hercules:''' [Chuckles] "Well-- kind of sounds like an order to me."
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| '''Cyane:''' "It is. I'm in charge here."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Oh-- well-- with all due respect, with those chains around your ankles, you're not much match for Zared's men. You're gonna need our help."
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| '''Cyane:''' "OK. So you can join us. But if we find that you've deceived us-- I'll feed you to the sharks."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Oh, gee, that's fair."
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| '''Jason:''' "We gotta find a way to get those chains off."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yeah-- if only we had the key."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Mmm."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Wait a second."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Whoa. Hey. Whoa! Come on!"
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| '''Jason:''' "No, no, no-- relax."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Come on! That tickles!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Ah."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Oh, right-- that's what you wanted."
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| '''Hercules:''' "We'll unlock the Amazons, and we'll attack in the morning."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Morning, huh?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yeah."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Well, it looks like someone's got a busy night ahead. Hi, I'm Iolaus."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Three, two, one."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Ooh! Feisty! I can work with that."
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| '''Man's Voice:''' "Lights out! All lights out! Lights out!"
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| '''Cyane:''' "I don't bite."
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| '''Hercules:''' "I know. I just wanted, uh-- to let you go first."
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| '''Cyane:''' "You've never seen an Amazon, before, huh?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Well-- no, but I've heard things."
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| '''Cyane:''' "That we're thieves and-- murderers, and baby-snatchers. We hate all men and corrupt all women, right?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Uh-huh. Is it true?"
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| '''Cyane:''' "No. Thousands of years ago, all the men in our village were wiped out in a single battle. From then on, our ancestors knew that our women needed to be strong. So, as for men, we just-- learned to live without them."
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| '''Hercules:''' "What about your male children?"
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| '''Cyane:''' "Oh, they're returned to their fathers. The girls stay here with us and are raised as Amazons-- although, I only speak for the Telaquire Amazons-- my tribe."
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| '''Hercules:''' "There's more of you?"
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| '''Cyane:''' "Yeah-- twelve in all. We were separated during the great war with the Centaurs. And one day we do hope to reunite."
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| '''Hercules:''' "I've heard Centaurs talk about that war."
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| '''Cyane:''' "You have Centaur friends."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Well, yeah."
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| '''Cyane:''' "Well, that explains your hatred of the Amazons, then."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Whoa-- no, no. See, uh-- I don't hate anybody."
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| '''Hercules:''' "So-- you haven't told me how Zared captured you."
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| '''Cyane:''' "He didn't. We were tricked by a god."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Which god?"
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| '''Cyane:''' "The cruelest of them all-- Zeus."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Are you sure?"
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| '''Cyane:''' "Zeus told us to leave our land-- and when we refused, he took us by force, turning us over to Zared."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Wait. That's impossible."
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| '''Cyane:''' "That's the truth."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Zeus doesn't harm innocent people."
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| '''Cyane:''' "You're naive, Hercules. Look, I used to think that-- the gods of Olympus were fair and just. Now, I know that they do things out of hatred and spite. I'm sorry. These have been-- difficult days."
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| '''Hercules:''' "It's OK. I know a little bit about how hard the gods can be."
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| '''Men's Voices:''' "Sound the morning call!" "Get to work!"
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| '''Man's Voice:''' "Land ho!"
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| '''Cyane:''' "All right-- let's break through the hatch door."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Whoa-- listen to me. Now, you do that, and you'll have all of Zared's men out there wating for you."
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| '''Cyane:''' "Oh, you got a better idea?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "I think so. We're gonna need the help of someone sneaky-- someone underhanded-- somebody conniving."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "I'll take that as a compliment."
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| '''Iolaus's Voice:''' "Oh! Oh! We've sprung a leak! Oh, help us! Help us! We're taking on water!"
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| '''Sailor:''' "Well, go help!"
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| '''Iolaus's Voice:''' "We're all gonna drown! We're all gonna die!"
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| '''Sailor:''' "Gotta do something! Quick! Open the hold!"
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| '''I's Voice:''' "Hold me! Oh, no! Help us! We're sinking! Oh! Oh! It's-- oh! Oh. Uh-oh."
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| [Fight]
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| '''Hercules:''' "OK. Any time, ladies-- anytime!"
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| '''Hercules's Voice:''' "Iolaus! Duck!"
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| '''Man's Voice:''' "Behind you!"
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| '''Hercules's Voice:''' "Coming through!"
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| '''Zared:''' "Fools! Get them! Use your bows!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Cyane! Yes!"
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| '''Zared:''' "If I stop the leader-- I win the war. Goodbye, Amazon Queen."
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| '''Cyane:''' "Nice catch."
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| '''Hercules:''' "It was OK."
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| '''Cyane:''' "Not bad-- for a boy."
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| '''All:''' [Cheer]
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| '''Amazon's Voice:''' "We did it!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "So-- where do you think Zared and his men are now?"
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| '''Cyane:''' "Well-- if this wind holds, they should be in Carthage-- where slave-trading is illegal-- I might add."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hey, uh-- Cyane. We're headed towards Athens. Uh-- you care to join us?"
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| '''Cyane:''' "Nah-- thanks, Iolaus-- but, we better be on our way."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Oh."
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| '''Cyane:''' "Uh-- look, I just-- I wanna apologize-- for-- doubting you and your friends."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Uh, no-- uh-- I need to apologize to you. You know, I was, uh-- I was wrong about the Amazons, and I was wrong about you, and-- I hope your new homeland is everything you dream of."
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| '''Cyane:''' "Oh, thank you, Hercules, for-- helping us win our freedom back."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hey, Herc. Whoa! Whoa. Sorry. Anyway, uh-- Cyane-- maybe when you gals, uh, you know-- find your new home, you might wanna look us up."
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| '''Jason:''' "They're Amazons, Iolaus. They don't look men up. They conquer them. Right?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Well-- I thought you liked your women sweet and gentle, Iolaus."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Well, you know-- Cheiron said ya-- gotta keep your options open."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yeah-- sounds good to me. Well-- we got a new cook to find, right?"
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| '''Jason's Voice:''' "Yep."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yeah."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hey, you don't suppose one of the Amazons might like the job."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Somehow, Iolaus, I don't think they're the cooking kind-- you know?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hey, you think maybe the Amazons need a cook?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "You can't cook."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "They don't know that."
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| [[Category:Scripts]] | | [[Category:Scripts]] |
