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| '''[[1.15 Ares on Trial|« Back to "1.15 Ares on Trial"]]'''<td></tr></table> | | '''[[1.15 - Ares on Trial|« Back to "1.15 - Ares on Trial"]]'''<td></tr></table> |
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| == Teaser ==
| | To Be Added. |
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| '''Jason:''' [Whistles]
| | [[Category:Scripts]][[Category:YH Episode Scripts (Novelization)]] |
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| '''Hercules:''' "Hey, sh! You'll scare the fishes, all right?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hey, uh-- what did you put for number 12?"
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| '''Jason:''' "Pandora's Box."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Pandora's Box?"
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| '''Jason:''' "Yeah."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "What did _you_ put?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Pandora's Box-- why? What'd you put?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Uh-- I just put-- " [Coughs]
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| '''Hercules:''' "What was that? What'd you put?"
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| '''Jason:''' "What did you say?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "I said I put, 'False'?"
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| '''Hercules:''' [Laughs]: "It wasn't a 'True or False' question."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Oh, come on. The instructions were confusing."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Oh."
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| '''Jason:''' "You gotta crack a scroll every now and then if you wanna graduate, my friend."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Oh, thank you Jason, Mr. 'God of Homework'."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Listen-- next time, we'll study together, all right?"
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| '''Jason:''' "Hmmmmm."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Whatever."
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| '''Ares:''' "I'm afraid there's not gonna be a next time for you, little brother."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Ares."
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| '''Ares:''' "Guys-- can we have a little privacy?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "You leave them out of this!"
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| '''Ares:''' "What makes you think you can come-- defile _my_ temple-- and get away with it?! My priest _saw_ you!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Whoa-- uh-- what?"
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| '''Ares:''' "Wha-wha-what?! You _know_ what I'm talkin' about!"
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| [Fight]
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| '''Hercules:''' "No-- actually-- I _don't_ know what you're talkin' about. Oh-- oh-- what you gonna do now?!"
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| '''Ares:''' [Laughs]
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| '''Hercules:''' [Laughs] "It was, uh-- whoa! Yah!" [Coughs]
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hercules!"
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| '''Jason:''' "Let's get him!"
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| '''Ares:''' "Now, I guess we find out if blood really is thicker than water."
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| == Act One ==
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| '''Ares:''' "I letcha live too long. You've gotten cocky."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Wow, you need help! Why can't you just leave me alone?!"
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| '''Ares:''' "I don't like you."
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| '''Hercules:''' [Yells]
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| '''Ares:''' Hey-- "
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| '''Hercules:''' "Listen-- I've never even _been_ to your temple, all right?"
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| '''Ares:''' "Liar! Ow! Ow! [Laughs] Whoo! Whoo-hoo! You know?! I never really _cared_ for large families! Good night, Johnboy!"
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| '''Hercules:''' [Yells]
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| '''Ares:''' "You're too slow, little brother! You really are at that awkward age-- and I'm afraid you're _never_ gonna grow out of it!" [Laughs]
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| '''Jason:''' "The boat!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Hercules? Wait, wait, wait! I can't swim!"
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| '''Jason:''' "What?!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Remember last time you threw me in?! I ca-I can't swim!"
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| '''Jason:''' "All right-- just be ready to help when I pull him out. Hercules!"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Come on, Jason."
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| '''Jason:''' "I can't see him! It's too deep!
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Keep looking for him, Jason!"
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| '''Jason:''' "Hercules! Hercules!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Huh? Huh? Wha? Huh? Am I dead? No. OK. Olympus-- how'd I get here? Apollo. Athena? Hephaestus? Hey. "
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| '''Hephaestus:''' [Laughs] "Yo, Bro!" [Laughs]
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| '''Ares:''' "Brothers-- Sister-- to what do I owe the honor-- of being invited here, today?"
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| '''Athena:''' "You stand accused of the attempted murder-- in full defiance of Zeus' protective order-- of your brother-- Hercules."
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| '''Ares:''' "_Half_-brother-- if you don't mind."
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| '''Apollo:''' "Whatever-- the point is, you tried to kill him."
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| '''Ares:''' "If I _tried_ to kill him-- he'd be dead right now."
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| '''Athena:''' "I suggest you take these charges a little more seriously. If this tribunal finds you guilty-- you'll spend an eternity of unimaginable torment-- "
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| '''Hercules:''' [Whispers] "Stop it!"
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| '''Athena:''' "-- in the fiery depths of Tartarus-- that is reserved for fallen gods."
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| '''Hercules:''' [Laughs] "Well."
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| '''Ares:''' "Sister, I'm sure you would love _any_ excuse to put me away for an eternity. But don't you think Zeus has gone a bit far this time, protecting his little boy? I mean, prosecuting the god of war for attacking somebody-- it's what I do."
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| '''Apollo:''' "Oh, so let me get this straight. When you maim, kill, and pillage-- on, it's strictly business, right?"
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| '''Ares:''' "I love my job. So, sue me."
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| '''Athena:''' "I grant you your role in the universe, Ares-- but even you can go too far-- and this time-- you did."
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| '''Ares:''' "Excuse me-- did I miss something here? Or have we forgotten some-- tiny detail like-- oh, I don't know-- a trial?"
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| '''Athena:''' [Clears throat]
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| '''Hephaestus:''' "Oh-- right, yeah-- sorry. [Clears throat] Um-- uh-- right. Uh-- 'As an O-- ' what's that? Oh, 'Olympian god-- you will receive a fair herring [sic], and-- in accordance with the law, you are allowed to choose your own-- d-- ' whats-- ? Oh, '-- defender.'" [Laughs]
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| '''Athena:''' "Counsel for the defense-- please rise. I said, 'Rise!'"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Me?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Cowards! Come on and fight me! You call yourself gods! You sneak up-- and attack people without warning! You're not gods! You're just a bunch of stinkin' cowards!"
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| '''Jason:''' "Iolaus."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Leave me alone, Jas."
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| '''Jason:''' "Hey, it's not your fault. It's not our fault. Ares-- is a god. There's nothin' we coulda done."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "All I know is my friend needed me-- and I was no help. And now he's gone."
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| '''Apollo:''' "Hello-- we're waiting."
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| '''Ares:''' "May I have a word with my counsel?"
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| '''Athena:''' "Please do."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Hi. Hi. Huh? Huh?"
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| '''Ares:''' "You're not starting off too well, little brother."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Let me get this straight, OK? You chose me to represent you on charges 'a you-- tryin' to kill me."
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| '''Ares:''' "The irony of it appealed to me. Besides, you're such a goody-good-- I know you're gonna do your best."
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| '''Hercules:''' "I got a question. Am I allowed to refuse to serve as Ares's defender?"
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| '''Hephaestus:''' "Oh, uh-- right, uh [Clears throat]-- OK, uh-- ah-- 'If-- s-- s-- s-- ' oh, '-- selected-- as a defender by an accused god in a godly tri-- tri-- ' oh, '-- tribunal-- ' uh, '-- the chosen one must serve or else share the sentence, if the accused is found g-- g-- gwilty [sic].'"
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| '''Hercules:''' [Sighs] "Well-- I accept, then."
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| '''Apollo:''' "Good choice."
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| '''Hercules:''' "This is ridiculous-- OK? I-- I know you're guilty. I was there."
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| '''Ares:''' "Well, I wasn't."
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| '''Hercules:''' "What are you talkin' about?"
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| '''Ares:''' "I didn't-- I did not try to kill you, OK? I mean, I'd love to, right here, right now-- but I'm no fool. You're under Zeus's protection-- and I do not intend to spend the rest of eternity in Tartarus, being gnawed on by some idiotic monster. You got that, Mister?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "I got it."
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| '''Athena:''' "Counsel for the defense-- how do you plead?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Not guilty."
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| == Act Two ==
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| '''Hercules:''' "Uh-- so-- y-you weren't there. OK, but-- you're gonna need an alibi, and you're gonna need a witness to back it up."
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| '''Ares:''' "Strife and Discord-- I was with them, today. It's perfect."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Ooh, I-I-- I don't know. A-are you sure you can trust 'em?"
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| '''Ares:''' "It's not a matter of trust-- they're scared of me."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Uh-- "
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| '''Ares:''' "Just do it-- Counselor."
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| '''Hercules:''' "OK. I call Discord."
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| '''Discord:''' "Hmm."
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| '''Strife:''' "Meow."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Hi. [Chuckles] Oh, um-- where were you on the day in question?"
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| '''Discord:''' "You mean, today."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yes, today."
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| '''Discord:''' "I was with Ares-- at his place."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Oh-- all day?"
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| '''Discord:''' "Pretty much."
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| '''Hercules:''' "OK. And, uh-uh, at any point in your day, did you hear Ares, you know, sort of talk about-- trying to-- kill me?"
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| '''Discord:''' "Sure-- he talks about it constantly. It's his favorite topic. Well, you _know_ it's true!"
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| '''Ares:''' "Eh."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Oh-- so, what you're tryin' to say is that it's-it's not unusual to, um-- to, uh-- hear Ares-- talk about-- tryin' to kill me?"
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| '''Discord:''' "Not at all-- of course-- today _was_ a little different."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Really. Wh-why is that?"
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| '''Discord:''' "Because today-- he actually _did_ try to kill you."
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| '''Ares:''' "She's lying!"
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| '''Athena:''' "Ares-- calm down!"
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| '''Cheiron:''' "Iolaus-- where you going?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "I don't know. I can't stay here."
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| '''Cheiron:''' "Don't you think Hercules would want you to stay?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Every day would be a reminder I lost a friend."
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| '''Cheiron:''' "You know? It's said-- that, uh-- a friend is never really lost-- if you remain true to the dreams you shared."
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| '''Athena:''' "Quiet in the court!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Let me get this straight-- you're saying that, um-- you were actually a witness to Ares trying to kill me."
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| '''Discord:''' "Yes-- I was."
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| '''Hercules:''' "How come I didn't see you there?"
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| '''Discord:''' "Well, I wasn't _there_ there-- but I was watching, you know? The way _real_ gods can do?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Well, uh-- would you do me a favor? Just explain how Ares tried to kill me. You know? I mean-- what'd he do? Come on."
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| '''Discord:''' "Well first, he hit you. Then he smashed up your little boat-- did a real number on your friends. And you put up a pretty good fight."
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| '''Hercules:''' "You know, uh? You two really shoulda got your stories straight. That's all I'm saying."
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| '''Ares:''' "Shh. She's lying-- don't listen to her."
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| '''Discord:''' "Hmmmm."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Just one more question-- so-- if Ares is found guilty and he's sent to Tartarus, then-- who do you work for? Who? Um-- Strife?"
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| '''Discord:''' "Excuse me?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Well-- I mean-- that's the way it works, isn't it? I mean, Strife's the next in line. I mean, Ares goes out and, Strife comes in, and he's the god of war, right?"
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| '''Discord:''' "That little twerp?! God of war?!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Oh-- well, uh-- I mean-- who else would it be? I-it's-- Ooh!"
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| '''Discord:''' "We're not talking god here, pal. We're talking _goddess_. Got it?!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yeah-- no further questions. Chk-chk."
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| '''Discord:''' "Hmm."
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| '''Ares:''' "Riiiiiight-- so, you think-- "
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| '''Hercules:''' "Hey, sh. I'm thinkin' here, all right?"
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| '''Hercules's Voice:''' "All right. The defense calls Strife."
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| '''Ares:''' "Don't betray me."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Strife-- "
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| '''Strife:''' "That's my name. Don't wear it out." [Laughs]
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| '''Hercules:''' "Were you with Ares, today?"
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| '''Strife:''' "Yep!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Did you witness the attack on me?"
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| '''Hephaestus:''' "Cuckoo."
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| '''Strife:''' "You could put it that way. Hmm. Ooh, Athena."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Was it Ares who attacked me?"
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| '''Strife:''' "Well, it sure looked like him."
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| '''Ares:''' "You backstabbing, sniveling worm!"
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| '''Athena:''' "Ares-- calm down! I'll _not_ warn you again!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Let me ask you a question. Um-- was there sum'in'-- different about Ares today? You know, I mean-- the way he attacked me?"
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| '''Strife:''' "Different? Well, what do you mean?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "I don know. Like he wasn't himself. You know, he kind of had like, a-- slow reaction time? He was a little clumsy? A little confused? A little-- weak? Did you get that impression?"
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| '''Strife:''' "Nah-- he looked good to me. [Laughs] He's the champ."
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| '''Hercules:''' "I don't know. I got the drop on him like two or three times. There was this one time-- I really flattened him. I swear-- I saw him cry. [Gods laugh] Come on, Strife. You wanna know what I think? I'm not convinced that Ares even shattered that boat-- hmm? I think that the wood was rotten-- the big old crybaby just walked in there, tripped over his own feet, and I think-- !"
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| '''Strife:''' "No way! I laid you out! I brought you down! And I-- ! Don't look at me! [Crying] Sh-she made me do it!"
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| '''Hercules:''' "I rest my case."
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| '''Hephaestus:''' "Do you want me to, uh-- forge some more chains?"
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| '''Athena:''' "Two sets."
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| '''Hephaestus:''' "OK."
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| '''Strife:''' [Crying] "I'm sorry."
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| '''Athena:''' "Ares-- it is the decision of this tribunal-- that all charges against you be dropped."
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| '''Ares:''' "Yes!"
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| '''Athena:''' "Strife and Discord-- for conspiring to murder a protected mortal-- and for impersonating a god-- we sentence you to eternity in the depths of Tartarus."
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| '''Strife:''' "Oh, Man"
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| '''Ares:''' "May I-- ask a favor of the court?"
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| '''Athena:''' "Hmm?"
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| '''Ares:''' "Turn 'em over to me."
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| '''Discord:''' "That's OK-- really."
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| '''Strife:''' "Tartarus is, uh-- fine."
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| '''Athena:''' "Very well. Court is now adjourned."
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| '''Apollo:''' "Bye-bye, guys. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-- let's go catch some rays."
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| '''Ares:''' "Ha-ha! You realize, this changes nothing-- between us."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yeah? You're welcome."
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| '''Jason:''' "I hear you're staying with us."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Yeah-- I just think it's what Hercules would have wanted, you know?"
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| '''Jason:''' "Could be. Why don't you ask him, yourself?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Hercules? Herc?! Uh-- "
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| '''Hercules:''' "Uh-- hey. Well-- I guess I was gone longer than I thought, huh?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Where have you been?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Oh, well-- kind of hard to explain, really."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Oh. OK. Well-- just don't go vanishing on us again, OK?"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yeah, all right-- I'll try not to."
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| '''Jason:''' "Welcome back, Hercules."
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| '''Hercules:''' "Thanks, Jason. Yeah."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Uh-- "
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| '''Hercules:''' "Yeah."
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| '''Iolaus:''' "Um--"
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| '''Hercules:''' "Uh-- all right. You weren't-- worried-- about me, right?"
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| '''Iolaus:''' "I knew you were comin' back."
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| [[Category:Scripts]] | |
